Reflections

Psalm 88:1, "I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself."

We arrived home safely and non-eventful on Monday as expected. The documents are signed and now we wait 1-3 months for the adoption to be finalized.

Final preparations of the home need to be made within the next month. Adoption training modules and books are to be read. School curriculum needs to be chosen, and clothing purchased now that I know their current sizes.

A lot of emotions are being processed. Fear and excitement simultaneously and a maternal love when I think of them and look at their photos. It goes something like this, "Ahhh, she's so cute!" after I look at one of their pictures. That type of affection I was beginning to feel in a real way the last 2 days we were in Bulgaria. I remember a couple moments I really wanted to hold and cuddle the children. The times are coming and I am looking forward to all those precious little daily moments.

At the same time, there is an overwhelming worry. Oh man, this is a huge task! Can we handle it? The first 6 months are going to be oh so difficult without communication. I keep reminding myself, I am not alone. Not only do I have a strong support network locally I also have a helper, the Holy Spirit, guiding me and working internally with the children. The voice in my head repeats, "Crystal, you are made for this task, and have been equipped for it. It will be difficult but you can do it."