Thursday morning update:
Please continue praying. Things here feel weighty.
The social workers were concerned about some conflicts that happened Tuesday in between the children and they brought in their local "psychologist" (think 70-year-old communist) who was thoroughly unimpressive and who has a relationship with the children. It has been frustrating because the issues have nothing to do with us but the way the kids are interacting with each other and we just sit back and watch and not interact with the kids. These things should have and could have been dealt with in advance of us coming. It is still awkward in the meeting rooms although I do not feel overwhelmed/shy like Monday. #2 has been the struggle. She has more issues than what was documented. We can't tell if they are developmental, attachment or her just resisting being adopted. She is very expressive in every way, does not seem to focus for more than a couple minutes (she is 9) and the main instigator when the children get in conflicts. She generally is looking for attention.
The concrete objective of the trip is for us to see the children and spend the week with them, then to sign papers if we still want them on Friday. So far we have not seen anything we were not expecting except perhaps #2 has more issues than what was written. Bonding is our agency's objective, but it is not concrete. The local social workers have been very much in the way so it is hard to make thorough judgments or bond with the children. We have 1.5 days left with the kids. #1 the oldest is far better than expected but the #2 has more issues. These are really tough kids like street kids. They did almost live on the streets previously. So the first objective along with bonding would be to "gentle them." We are going to hire an English tutor for the two older girls for after school sessions so they can at least begin. The oldest is already trying on her own to learn.
What I have seen and my main concern is the lack of English communication. The kids fight enough that I can see our first 6 months are going to be very difficult without me being able to talk through conflict with them. All of them are responsive to redirection with the exception of #2, but this may not be typical of her we are not sure.
Today we spend the last full day. After lunch we have been told that there will be no social workers with us only our translator. Tomorrow the children go home around noon and we sign papers and get on the train at 4:30.
The social workers were concerned about some conflicts that happened Tuesday in between the children and they brought in their local "psychologist" (think 70-year-old communist) who was thoroughly unimpressive and who has a relationship with the children. It has been frustrating because the issues have nothing to do with us but the way the kids are interacting with each other and we just sit back and watch and not interact with the kids. These things should have and could have been dealt with in advance of us coming. It is still awkward in the meeting rooms although I do not feel overwhelmed/shy like Monday. #2 has been the struggle. She has more issues than what was documented. We can't tell if they are developmental, attachment or her just resisting being adopted. She is very expressive in every way, does not seem to focus for more than a couple minutes (she is 9) and the main instigator when the children get in conflicts. She generally is looking for attention.
The concrete objective of the trip is for us to see the children and spend the week with them, then to sign papers if we still want them on Friday. So far we have not seen anything we were not expecting except perhaps #2 has more issues than what was written. Bonding is our agency's objective, but it is not concrete. The local social workers have been very much in the way so it is hard to make thorough judgments or bond with the children. We have 1.5 days left with the kids. #1 the oldest is far better than expected but the #2 has more issues. These are really tough kids like street kids. They did almost live on the streets previously. So the first objective along with bonding would be to "gentle them." We are going to hire an English tutor for the two older girls for after school sessions so they can at least begin. The oldest is already trying on her own to learn.
What I have seen and my main concern is the lack of English communication. The kids fight enough that I can see our first 6 months are going to be very difficult without me being able to talk through conflict with them. All of them are responsive to redirection with the exception of #2, but this may not be typical of her we are not sure.
Today we spend the last full day. After lunch we have been told that there will be no social workers with us only our translator. Tomorrow the children go home around noon and we sign papers and get on the train at 4:30.
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